Strength In Suffering

When we begin to think about “wrestling” with God, more often than not the first person that comes to mind is Jacob.  We know from scripture that God had promised to bless the nations through Abraham, Issac and also Jacob. The blessing on and through Jacob was a given. Out of God’s mercy He choses Jacob and not his older twin Esau. Romans 9:9-16   However, Jacob chooses to do things his own way through deceit and probably insecurity. He was of course lied to and deceived himself.  Jacob means “heel” in Hebrew, referring to how he was born, grasping onto his twin brother Esau’s heel as if attempting to be born first ( Gen 25:26 ); however, the name also means “to cheat” Hosea 12:3  says that he grasped Esau’s heel. ‘Grasped’ can also mean to supplant, to take, to struggle, to circumvent.  In spite of Jacob’s failures, God never leaves him and continues to pursue him. This is a comforting thought when dealing with our own failures and disappointments.  Gen 32:24 “And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day” We know later that this man was God Himself.  Gen 32:30  “So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, 'For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered’.” Jacob was not going to let go of God until He blessed him. The blessing that was already his and one that he tried to enforce himself, he was now struggling and weeping with God for.   Hosea 12:4a  “he (Jacob) wept and sought his favour”. Through our struggles in life and wrestlings with God, we can often find ourselves weeping as we seek a way through the traumatic events in our lives. Weeping is certainly ok and it’s one of the ways we reach out to God in those desperate moments. There have been many times the I have wept uncontrollably in trying to make sense of it all. Have I lost His blessing? Is He still for me?  Through the struggle Jacob is changed. So much so that his name is changed to Israel.  Gen 32:28 “Then he said, ‘Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed’.”  Israel means He strives with God, or God strives. We strive or struggle and wrestle with God and He does the same with us.  When we become new creations through Jesus the struggle doesn’t stop. In many ways it has only just begun. God wants to change us from one degree of glory to another. In order for that to happen there has to be a wrestling in order for that change to come.  In my situation as I’ve struggled over the past 2.5 years God has and is changing me. I don’t always feel like that is happening for the good. But I must trust that He is shaping me and moulding me more into the image of His Son. Romans 8:29  Yes, it’s uncomfortable and yes like Jacob, it will mean that there is an evidence that God is working albeit painful, just as with Jacob's limp.  Gen 32:31 “The sun rose upon him as he passed Peniel, limping because of his hip”. What is the evidence that God is changing you and me? It may not be in ways that we think. After all, God’s ways are so different to ours.  The Christian life is one of perseverance. It’s about faithfulness and running the race set before us. When we do so, our character is somehow being developed and let’s not forget the eternal reward.  James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” Can God really shape us into the people He wants us to be without trials, hardship and suffering. From my reading of scripture and from experience, I would have to say no. When we repent, believe and begin to follow Jesus, that is only the beginning. The journey begins. Even with Jacob’s ancestry and list of promises from God, He still failed and he still struggled with finding God and making sense of what was happening in his life. The same is true for us. Many of us do and will go through life changing events and it’s then that God may seem distant. But then He may show up in unexpected ways to do what He has to do, just like he did with Jacob.  Prayer - Father, thank You that You are never finished with us. When we fail and try and do things our way, You forgive us and You never leave us. Thank You for the example of Jacob, a man whom You never let go of, and he never let go of You. Shape us, change us into the people You desire us to be, as uncomfortable as it may be. Amen

We can often tend to think that wrestling is a bad thing, especially when it comes to our relationship with God. So often we think the right thing to do is to just submit and bow the knee out of reverence and awe of who He is. It therefore can feel almost blasphemous to “wrestle”in our thoughts with God. After all doesn’t the scripture say that we should submit to Him and be humble.  James 4:7-10   “ Submit yourselves, then, to God . Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and weep. Turn your laughter to mourning, and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.” As with many things in scripture and with God, there is always two sides to the coin. As I have journeyed my own difficult path for the last 2.5 years, I have to admit that the wrestling over our situation and with God has become more intense.  The first few hours and days after our son’s accident we had no fight, we could do nothing else but rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I remember Lindsay saying to me in the police car on the way to Addenbrookes Hospital  ‘If God takes Nathanael’s life then so be it…..’ . There was no questioning, why or what or anything, just acceptance.  As time has moved on, the questions, the doubting, the raw honesty with God has become more and more apparent. Many, (especially Christians) would see this as a weakness.  I’ve come to see from scripture and experience that this is far from weak. I would say that those who never wrestle with God and His Word are missing a key ingredient in their relationship with Him. Someone puts it this way, “Wrestling with God is a sign of intimacy. You can’t wrestle with someone you’re far away from”.  God, I believe, invites us into a relationship through His Son that is not just one sided. We don’t just accept everything that comes our way as if it is from the hand of God for our good and for our character development. There are many ways in which we can wrestle with God. Let’s look briefly at Abraham.  Abraham wrestles with God when He is about to destroy Sodom. I love the way Abraham’s posture changes in Genesis 18:22-23   “And the two men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. Abraham stepped forward and said…” One minute he is standing before the Lord, the next minute he steps forward. He wants to do business with the Lord. He wants to bargain with God if you like.  He begins “Will You really sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are 50? What if there are 45? 40? 30? 20? 10?”   In our wrestling with the Creator of the universe, with the One who is holy holy holy, we know and admit who we are. Look at what Abraham says… v.27  “Abraham answered and said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes.” In comparison to God we are but dust and ashes. He is the eternal, self existing One. We are made from the dust.  This does not stop us however coming to the place of questioning. To debating. To searching for an answer. God indeed invites us to do that and to reason.  Isaiah 1:18   “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. NIV  “Come now, let us reason together”,  ESV  Throughout scripture there are many examples of people who would not let go of God during times of trouble. They would not give up pursuing God and questioning what was going on in their lives and the situation around them. They are people who had, chutzpah , to use a Hebrew term. To use more familiar terms, they had audacity, cheek, nerve, boldness, guts.  Whatever you’re going through right now, God is ok with you approaching Him with chutzpah . There’s a time for chutzpah  and there’s a time for submission. The realisation for me is that life will  continue to be a combination of the two.  Next time we will look at the example of Jacob.  Prayer : Thank You Lord that You invite us into relationship. Thank You that this relationship involves dialogue, struggle and humility. Help us all in this process. Amen

Lindsay Howes. First sickening shock, as icy as the chill of deep cold sea water ruthlessly biting against the skin. Air suckingly painful with every step forward, surrounding confusions of sea foam swirling faster with each inch of depth. The slow realisation of complete numbness, no way out in any direction - just deep cold grey.    There are but very few in at the same depth, alongside, but not able to reach your hand. There, but in at their own swirling depth.   Standing on the shore are many, many who stand and watch, they watch but they do not enter in, they cannot, for these depths are yours and yours alone. With mesmerising motion the waves draw you further and further in, your footing loosens with every threatening consuming wave. The higher pressure of the water compresses making it harder to breathe, the build up of pain brings uncontrollable symptoms as the waves roll in and out, day after day confusion, exhaustion, fear, sleeplessness, anxiety, heartache, sadness.    Threatening dark clouds gather over head, then rain, heavy rain pouring on top of the already overwhelming waves, layer upon layer upon layer.    There is only One who can be there in the deep cold grey. One who truly knows the depths. One who is fully able. One to whom you can look when another wave rolls over. One who keeps your head above. One to whom you can cling, One who does not stop the waves but One who is with you through them.    When you pass through the deep waters, I will be with you; Isaiah 43:2

We all have our favourite seasons throughout the year. Some like winter for the snow. Others like Autumn because of the wonderful colours that come our way as the trees turn. Most people would say they love summer for the warmth and holiday time. Then there are those like myself who enjoy spring as nature emerges from the bleak mid winter and signs of new life brings a sense of change, hope and new beginnings.  As we go through life there are seasons. Just like the meteorological seasons, they come and they go. Some seasons seem to last longer than others. When in the depths of winter which seems to begin when the clocks go back at the end of October until we reach March and the one notices the nights begin to draw in more and more, we wonder if things will ever change and move on.   For us, as we look back over the last two and half years, we can notice the seasons and how some have lasted longer than others. When we were in Addenbrookes Hospital, after our son’s accident, it seemed like a lifetime and we couldn’t wait to get out of there. It was a very dark and arduous time of not knowing what was around the corner.  When we at last, moved to the Rehabilitation Centre, we were so relieved to be out of hospital. We couldn’t wait to move onward towards going home. It wasn’t long before we soon realised that this too was going to be a long season of months and we ended up counting down the days to get home. It was a time of seeing our son progress albeit painfully slow.  The season of returning home brought with it its own challenges. Returning to the place where the accident happened was excruciatingly difficult. The memories of that place were unbearable to recount at times.  We have since had a new season of moving to somewhere new. And as I write this we are in yet another new season with our son starting a new school. This newest season will help him in recovering, regaining independence and growing into new adventures, and this in turn will help us.  I’ve often said that the season that began two and half years ago will be a season we live in for the rest of our lives. To a degree that will remain to be true as indeed we can’t undo what has happened.  However, as we know from our very temperamental climate that there can be season within a season. The winter can bring with it some very mild days. Spring can be very cold and we can even experience snow and cold nights. Even this year 2024 we had daytime temperatures in midsummer only reaching 13 degrees.  As we journey through this season of trauma, pain and heartache, we can clearly see the seasons of change. Thank God. We do know from scripture, that even though the seasons change in all spheres of life, God does not change. “ He is the same today, yesterday and forever.”   Heb 13:8   Prayer - Father, thank You that as we journey this life with it’s many changes, You are there. With each new season we thank You for the opportunities it can bring. For those of us who are in a very long season of hardship, may we know Your strength and Your comfort. Amen.

By Lindsay Howes. On the fourth day after Nathanael was admitted to Addenbrookes Paediatric Intensive Care Unit with catastrophic head and brain injuries, he took a turn for the worse. The pressure and swelling in his brain became life threatening and I had to make the agonising decision on my own to send him for emergency brain surgery - under the knife there was a very high possibility he would die but without the surgery he would surely die. After the team had prepared him and left with all the equipment, machinery, monitors, syringe drivers, ventilator, oxygen etc, the intensive care room was suddenly very very empty and quiet and I was alone. I saw a window over the other side of the room so I went and looked out. Down below there was a small garden and directly under the window was a large fig tree. It had been cut back very very hard. I had to look twice but there were definitely signs of new growth and tiny new fruit appearing. I knew God was with us and He was showing me.  When Nathanael was well enough to go outside the hospital, a couple of months later, we went together and found that fig tree in the garden. After we had left hospital and Rehab and been home a while, some 18 months or so later we bought ourselves a fig tree for our own garden, albeit small and twiggy. This year it’s real first fruits have appeared and through it God speaks to my heart of His work in our lives of severe pruning, hard seasons, His grace, if we allow Him, to change our character, and the fruit that He will bring in His time not ours if we can hold on to hope.   “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2).

1. In the midst of suffering God, the Lord, the good shepherd is with us. 2. Even our wants are satisfied in Christ 3. The Shepherd always has our best interests at heart 4. We can trust the He will lead and guide 5. God walks with us in the lowest valley 6. We are on a journey with the Shepherd 7. The overflow of our lives impacts others 8. The Holy Spirit is the oil that brings comfort and rest 9. The good shepherd watching over us, puts us in a privileged position 10. Goodness and mercy chase us every day into eternity

A summer of sport is nearly done Medals and trophies given to those who won They've trained and endured to be the best “Well done” they hear as they overcome the test. There are no medals for those enduring trauma and pain Going on day after day, sun, cloud or rain Nothing prepares for this overwhelming test Athletes job is done but we find little rest Deep trauma makes you feel like you'll never win Always looking for hope that at times wears very thin But God's word tells us to keep running the race Because at the end, we will see His face! If we endure the test we will receive a crown of life This promise helps us to keep going in trouble and strife Even this crown, it seems, we will lay at His feet All will pale into insignificance when He we will meet The depth of trauma will soon come to an end When Christ shall come and my knee shall bend “Well done good and faithful servant”  I long to hear For Trials, suffering and hardship we will no longer bear We will stand at the bema seat of Christ for reward It's this that we should all strain toward Let's cheer each other on together in this race Knowing we will all at last receive His loving embrace

v.6a “ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life” When you’re in the valley of despair, trauma and fear, it’s difficult to know what goodness and mercy will ever look like again. However… The NLT paraphrases it this way ‘Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever’. Mercy and goodness ‘pursue’ not merely ‘follow’ us ‘ALL’ the days of our lives. Chad Bird talking of goodness and mercy puts it this way ‘They do not merely ‘follow’ us but ‘ radaf’  - the Hebrew verb for ‘chase down or pursue’. Chased by mercy, hounded by goodness, pursued by the love of Jesus, we enter and dwell in the Father’s house as his beloved lambs, part of the fold for which Christ laid down his life’. (John 10:11)  What Psalm 23 emphasises above all else is the love, care, affection and attention that the Shepherd has for his sheep.  No matter what we go through in life, the Shepherd is pursuing us, chasing us down. The flesh and the enemy will shout at me that God the shepherd has left the picture. He is no longer near and has abandoned us. It very much feels like that a lot of the time. But scripture tells me differently as we can see from this wonderful verse in Psalm 23.  Keller writes ‘ no matter what comes, at least and always he can be perfectly sure that goodness and mercy will be in the picture. He reassures himself that he is ever under sound, sympathetic, intelligent ownership. What more need he care about? Goodness and mercy will be the treatment he receives from his master’s expert, loving hands’.  What mercy and goodness looks like I’m not really sure. I have to leave that to Him, who knows best. There are many who will scoff at such a thing especially when our lives look like they are in ruins.  Scripture however says “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” Lamentations 3 NKJV All the days of my life is what is promised. Scripture reminds us elsewhere that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Deut 4:31; Deut 31:6;8, Josh 1:5, Heb 13:5 Every day and all of my life His mercies are new and pursue, chase after me. Doesn’t always feel like it but God’s word says they do and I stand on His word even if at times I feel like doing otherwise.  v.6b “and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” Keller writes ‘Actually what is referred to by “house” is the family or household or flock of the Good shepherd. the sheep is so deeply satisfied with the flock to which it belongs, with the ownership of this particular shepherd, that it has no wish to change whatever.’ I will dwell in His house, His presence forever. Would I want to dwell anywhere else? There are times when I’ve felt that maybe God has cast me out and that I’m no longer worthy to be a part of His fold. There are times when I’ve questioned God’s care for me that I didn’t want to do this ‘Christian’ stuff anymore and therefore didn’t want to be in His house. I’m sure there are others looking on, both Christian and non who wonder why we would carry on with God after the tragic circumstances in our lives. I come back to what the Peter said to Jesus when other disciples where leaving “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” … John 6:68 Where else would we go? We know deep down that God the good shepherd has the answers to all of our trauma, despair, doubt. And it's in His house that I want to dwell not just now but for all of eternity.  Yes, our situation hurts everyday. No, this is not what we wanted for our son. But I am so thankful for Psalm 23 and affirm v.1 that the Lord is  my shepherd and I will  dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Prayer  - Father, You are the One to which we turn in times of trouble. Help us to see beyond our situation and experience the goodness and mercy which is chasing each and every day. Thank You that we have a wonderful future ahead when on that day we will see you face to face and will know beyond a shadow of doubt that You were who You said You were and that Your goodness and mercy were pursuing us right into glory. Amen

5b “you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” Sheep get highly bothered by flies in the summer. It effects their behaviour as they become aggravated and restless. Nasal flies can be the worse as they lay eggs inside the sheep’s nose. When hatched they work their way up into the sheep’s head which causes irritation and inflammation. To find relief they will thrash around and knock their heads against rocks, at times causing blindness.  A good shepherd will recognise the first signs of flies and apply an oil antidote to their heads. Once the oil is applied, the sheep’s behaviour changes immediately.  We all have ‘flies’ in our lives that cause us to become discontent, restless and at times, panicked and exhausted to the point of giving up.  The flies have their season with the sheep as they will with us. Seasons come and go. However, occasionally the ‘flies’ can at times, seem permanent. In my own life, I seem to be irritated by my circumstances every single day.  What’s the remedy? Scripture points us to the oil of the Holy Spirit. He needs to be in control. Just like the sheep have to have a continued application of oil to keep the flies at bay, so we need to be continually filled with the Holy Spirit. In this way we will have fruit that only He can produce. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control,  When one is suffering deeply it isn’t always easy to allow the Holy Spirit to take control, I must confess. I often feel guilty that I don’t have more joy in my life, more peace, more self control to name a few.  I know the remedy, but the application can be somewhat difficult at times.  Keller writes “these autumn days can be golden under Indian summer weather. the sheep have respite now from flies and insects and scab. no other season finds them so fit and well and strong. no wonder David wrote, “my cup overflows. But at the same time, unexpected blizzards can blow up or sleet storms suddenly shroud the hills, the flock and their owner can pass through appalling suffering together”.  Jesus took the ‘cup’ of suffering for us all. As the people of God we are called to suffer. The cup that he endured at the cross overflows to you and me. The oil of the Holy Spirit needs to work in me and you no matter what we’re going through in life so that we can be the overflow of what He wants to do to those around us. Again, this sounds great and is so true, but can be so difficult when you’re in the midst of deep suffering.  However, it has often been said of us that we are a blessing just by the fact that we are enduring. We keep going in the midst of great difficulty. Maybe that is a sign of God’s ‘anointing oil’ in our lives and an encouragement to us that others are blessed by seeing the ‘overflow’ out of our cup of suffering. It’s so very true that others see so much more than what we ourselves do.  Prayer - Dear Lord, In spite of what we go through, Your Word reminds us that You are at work. You’ve given the Holy Spirit to aid us through difficult situations. Help me, help all of us to yield to You so that we can be a blessing to others also. Amen  I am grateful to Phillip Keller for the insight I have gleaned from his book ‘A shepherd looks at Psalm 23’.

v.3a He restores my soul. We all need restoring at times during our lives. Whether it’s because of trauma, sickness, or sin or something else, restoration is needed.  David knew what it was like to be in need of restoration.  “Why are you cast down , O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” . Psalm 42:11 “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!”   Psalm 51:1-2  Philip Keller explains… “A cast sheep is a very pathetic sight. Lying on its back, its feet in the air, it flays away frantically struggling to stand up, without success. sometimes it will bleat a little for help, but generally it lies there, lashing about in frightened frustration. If the owner does not arrive on the scene within a reasonably short time, the sheep will die.”  I can so relate to the pathetic looking sheep. I have been unable to do anything at times, rendered helpless and pathetic, especially in the early days following the accident involving my son. Unless God, the Good Shepherd had come to my aid, I have no idea what would have happened to me. God is working in our lives even when we can’t see, feel or at times experience it. Looking back now, I can see how the Good Shepherd was faithfully working, in spite of me, my struggles and being extremely frightened with death staring me in the face.  The mistake for those of us struggling with challenges, can be that we may think God is going to wave a magic wand and all things will be restored as we want them to be in our time. Whilst God is in the restoration business, these things take time, His time, often a very long time, and ultimately full restoration will only be seen at the second coming of Christ. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be looking expectantly for God to restore us in this life in the ways that He deems right.  v.3b He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. If sheep go off course or are left on land that is overgrazed, this can bring the shepherd into disrepute. It gives the shepherd a bad name. When the Lord leads us in right paths it’s because of His name and His reputation, as well as for our good.  Sheep are led from one area of grazing to another. This produces healthy sheep. Sheep actually like being led to new pasture and get quite excited about it.  We too should enjoy or at least welcome being moved around where God wants us, knowing it is for our good. Yet so often we go our own way, or the ways of others and disaster strikes.   “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” Isaiah 53:6 I know that in the depths of my own personal suffering there are times when I want to do things my way. I will wallow in self pity because in a weird sort of way it’s there that I feel comfortable. It’s not long though, before I discover that this is not a good place, and its only when I realise this, can God then lead.  We read in Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 , “there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” In suffering, we sometimes, with the help of others, need to find the right way forward. God will often use someone else to guide us and point us in the right direction.  Keller writes “In a word—there must be a predetermined plan of action, a deliberate, planned rotation from one grazing ground to another in line with right and proper principles of sound management. this is precisely the sort of action and the idea David had in mind when he spoke of being led in paths of righteousness”. Even when I am feeling at my lowest, I need to trust that the Shepherd who is good, knows what is best for me and will lead me, will guide me, not in destructive ways, but in ways that lead to life. And very often God’s idea of life is very different to our own.  I must confess that I don’t always feel that God is leading and guiding me especially when things are really tough and I feel I cannot cope anymore. However, as I look back over the days, weeks, months and now years, I can see God’s hand upholding us. Prayer  - Dear Lord, thank You that You are the Good Shepherd whom we can trust. Help us to look to You as the source of our help and sustenance even when we are at rock bottom and can’t find a way out. May it be to the glory of Your name. Amen  I am grateful to Phillip Keller for the insight I have gleaned from his book ‘A shepherd looks at Psalm 23’.

v.2a He makes me lie down in green pastures.  “ In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety”  Psalm 4v8 ESV The idea of lying down gives a sense of contentment. Free of fear and worry. No friction or caring about whether one will be provided for. That’s certainly true for the sheep and is also true for us.  When we know the Good Shepherd caring for us we will have no problem lying down, because it’s Him who make us to lay down.  When in the midst of trauma, suffering and living with PTSD it is often difficult to lie down in safety.  However, even when dealing with these things it is possible, even if not all the time, to lie down and know His peace and His presence. It can take many years for someone who has been dealt severe blows in their life to get to this place. The promise however does remain.  Green pastures are often hard to come by in Israel. David would have had this in mind when penning this Psalm. The shepherd would lead the sheep to the next available grass to eat and then move on to the next. A bit like the manna that God provided in the desert. Just enough for what they needed for that day. God would then provide the next day.  When one is in the midst of suffering it is good to be reminded of that. So often we worry about what tomorrow will look like let alone five years down the road.  v.2b He leads me beside still waters. Water is essential for sheep to be healthy. It’s still waters that they drink from, not stormy waters. We too, need to drink from the Lord. Jesus said, “If anyone is thirsty let him come to Me and drink”.  We are all thirsty, but so many of us drink from the dirty pools of this world and suffer as a consequence.  Again, it’s not always easy to drink from the living water of God when you’re in the depths of suffering. I have often neglected this side of things simply because I lack energy and motivation.  Sheep will often rise early in the morning to drink the dew of the early morning. These things takes time and effort and most of the time we need God to lead us. We need Him to be doing what we can’t when suffering. He is well aware of our weaknesses and He will lead us to drink. He will make us to lie in green pastures.  I take comfort from these things. God is the instigator when we are deep in the pit. He hasn’t forgotten us. The shepherd never forgets the sheep but always, always has their best interests at heart.  Prayer - Dear Lord, thank you that you are the great provider everyday. Even when we feel empty and have no resources left, you still lead and take us to where we need to be. Amen  I am grateful to Phillip Keller for the insight I have gleaned from his book ‘A shepherd looks at Psalm 23’.