Strength In Suffering

Meteorologically speaking we are now in the season of Spring. The long awaited season of longer days and more sunshine. Spring flowers such as daffodils, crocus and primulas put on a spectacular show of colour giving us all a lift if we just take a moment to look.  Winter can seem so long and dreary. But it is a season when things are happening, things that we cannot see. Plants and spring bulbs are doing their thing under the ground in preparation for this time of the year. We just can’t see those things happening as they’re buried under the soil. The sap of plants begin to rise, again unseen, until we see buds breaking forth from our trees and shrubs and plants.  Our lives can be very much like that with seasons. For many of us we may be in a winter season. The season is dark, it looks bleak, nothing seems to be happening. That season can last an awful long time for some of us. Yes, there may be glimmers of brightness and hope like a lovely crisp sunny day in the middle of winter. But it can seem fleeting, just momentary and then we’re plunged back into the bleak, dark times, the fog moves in and we wonder where we’re going in life.  Jesus says something amazing about nature in relation to His death.  “ I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.”   John 12:24 NLT Burying a seed in the soil, in darkness will produce life. Just as His death brought about life eternal for those who believe and follow.  We will all put on a new body one day. But first this current body that we carry about has to die first.  “ But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body do they come?” You foolish person! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. And what you sow is not the body that is to be, but a bare kernel, perhaps of wheat or of some other grain. But God gives it a body as he has chosen, and to each kind of seed it’s own body.” 1 Cor 15 ESV  In our own lives we have experienced loss like death. Death isn’t just when someone’s heart stops even though Nathanael’s did, twice. Death is very much the end of something. Divorce is death. Trauma is death. Grief is death. The big question is what is that death going to produce? For us it sometime feels like it may not produce anything except hardship, stress, ongoing trauma and perhaps that’s what it feels like for so many people who endure death in some shape or form.  When Jesus died many people would have wept at the tragic loss of a son, a friend, a rabbi, a leader. Scripture doesn’t explicitly say that but infers it and you would expect it. John 19:25.  Little did they know or even expect in spite of Him telling them that He would raise to life three days later to bring about the promised victory over death and sin. Hallelujah!   Many of us like the early disciples don’t expect much to come forth from death, from loss, from trauma etc. However, I need to remind myself that God is in the business of bringing order out of chaos, life out of death and hope out of despair. Is God about to do something in our lives through our tragic event to bring about good and to bring about hope and life to benefit not just ourselves but those whom we encounter in the coming days, months and years ahead. Of course He has been working right from day one and He is still working, wanting to produce more and more fruitfulness in our lives. That’s my prayer, that just as Spring has sprung, so something new and fresh will spring forth life in our situation and yours too.  These things can take time, sometimes a very long time. But God is not in a hurry just as nature is not in a hurry. Everything has to take its course in order, in the right time for things to be ready to come into glory.  Yes, there will continue to be pain in our hearts, there will still be hardship, those things continue but God can still bring about good, bring about life even in the midst of those feelings.  Prayer : Dear Lord, we thank You that with You there is always hope even in the darkest valley. Help us and help those who feel that this is a very long season of darkness and despair to know that You want to do something and are more than wiling to bring it to pass in Your time.  Thank you for all the signs of life around us as we marvel at Your wonderful creation. May we draw encouragement from that. Amen.

“For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross." Colossians 1:19-20   We touched on the subject of reconciliation very briefly in an earlier blog. Here we will take a closer look at what it means for God to reconcile all things to Himself by the death of Jesus and what that means for us.  The beginning of the Bible tells us that the world was formless and void, in Hebrew, Tohu va bohu . This is translated as "formless and empty," "waste and void," or "chaos and desolation"  There was no order to it and then God begins to create or recreate the world and He calls it good.  It goes rather wrong again when Adam disobeys in the garden and chaos begins to reign again. None of this takes God by surprise because before the foundation of the world Jesus predetermined to come to die the horrific death on the cross in order to ‘reconcile’ all things to Himself.  When someone is reconciled to another, then restoration has taken place. Peace and harmony has been restored between parties that were once at odds. God in Jesus restores what was lost. He saves what was lost.  In our verse it says He makes peace through the blood of His cross. In the Hebrew, peace carries so much more meaning than we have in English. The Hebrew word for peace is shalom and can mean completeness, wholeness, welfare, well being, safety, prosperity.  The whole concept of peace is closely related to the idea of reconciliation.  The amazing thing is that when God calls us into His community, He calls us to co work with Him in bringing peace/shalom to this world. In case we are in any doubt about that, read the following… “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled  us  to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation ; that is, in Christ God was reconciling  the world to himself , not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation . Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”  2 Cor 5:17-20 ESV  In the midst of a chaotic and suffering world we, with God’s help and leading, can make a difference and bring about change.  Personally, I am very encouraged by that, for in our own situation of deep trauma and suffering, God can and will use that experience to bring shalom to someone else’s life. That’s one of the reasons we began our website Strength in Suffering, so that others who are suffering might find some hope, some peace, and ultimately find the God of peace, the God of Shalom. We still experience some dark and very difficult days and probably will continue to but no experience of trial is wasted with God. We have to believe that in order for us to see God use our situation to bring shalom to someone else life.  God has accomplished the miraculous through the life, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus. He graciously doesn’t just save us so that we can wait for Him to return, even though that is great in itself. No, He invests in us through the indwelling Holy Spirit to go and make disciples, to go into our small part of the world and make a difference. Whether we’re going through suffering or not we are all God’s ambassadors with a ministry of reconciliation.  The day is coming when we will see fully what it looks like to see all things reconciled to God when He creates or recreates a new heaven and a new earth and the whole creation will be filled with Shalom. All things will be restored to how God intended. Until then, reconciliation is our aim, is part of the job description.  Prayer: Dear Lord, We are so thankful that You are the God who is in the business of dealing with chaos. You’ve done it on the cross and You do it everyday when someone experiences Your love and grace. Help us to experience that more and more and help us to be Your ambassadors especially when we feel like we have little to give. Pour into us so that we can give of You. Amen

“ God doesn’t expect me to dance at His empty tomb without weeping at His cross. I don’t have to hide my grief or pretend I’m stronger than I am ”  Michelle Cushatt  In the next few weeks we will be focusing mainly on the cross and the different views of what actually happened when Jesus died on the cross. One can’t escape the fact that when talking of the cross, immediately suffering comes to mind. However, the suffering that the Son of God went through was unlike any other.  No matter what our faith, culture, background, we have a tendency to shy away from anything to do with suffering. We all find it challenging to know what to say, or do or how to help others in order to try and bring some relief to their suffering. When Jesus suffered and died on the cross, scripture tells us… “He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way . He was despised, and we did not care”   Isaiah 53:3 NLT Jesus suffered the most humiliating, scandalous, excruciatingly pain ridden death anyone could endure. The Son of God, the creator of the universe, the One who enabled us to come into existence was brought to the lowest place on earth, crucifixion on a cross at the hands of those He had created. Such humility. It’s here where God’s love and justice/righteousness meets.  Christianity, especially in the west, the most affluent part of the world jars at the picture of someone being tortured and people suffering. We quickly want to change the subject and simply move on to discussions more attuned to our status and privilege.  Parts of the Church when advertising across social media more often than not show pictures of people laughing, having fun and enjoying life. This, however can be far from reality and often doesn’t portray a true picture of what life, when facing difficulties, can be like. Many in those very same churches are suffering and in pain, yet many hide behind the facade. There is an unwanted pressure to conform to the ‘best life now’ mentality. Yet most of us know that the ‘best is yet to come’ mantra is for the life to come, the Kingdom in all its fulness when Jesus comes again. Surly that was what He had in mind when He said ‘I came that they may have life and have it abundantly’ . John10:10 ESV.  In this life we get but a small foretaste of what that looks and feels like.  Grief, trauma and suffering are all around us. Pain is widespread. As Cushatt says in the heading of this blog, ‘I don’t have to hide my grief’ . When we look upon the cross, do we weep, do we stand in awe of the One who suffered horrifically for us? Or do we rush away and look for comfort and victory in the resurrection.  The Apostle boldly proclaimed ‘For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified’ . 1 Cor 2:2 NIV Paul is writing here after Jesus’ resurrection and yet he says about knowing Christ crucified, not risen. Now it is important to remember that when Paul speaks often of Christ and His death, he also has in mind the resurrection. But as in the Corinth Church and large segments of the Church today we can quickly overlook the events surrounding His death and all that happened at Calvary and rush into the resurrection.  Sometimes the Catholic Church and other denominations are ridiculed for having images of the crucifixion, where Jesus is hanging on the cross. I do however think that this can be of benefit as it helps us to focus again upon Calvary.  There are times when we need to stop and pause and look again upon the cross and ask some important question as well as allowing the cross to ask us some very important questions. These next few blogs will aim to do exactly that.  There’s a time to dance at the empty tomb but not before we have wept at the cross. This is not something we do once but many times. As the writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us,  “ There is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” Eccl 3:4  ESV When we suffer and experience hard times, we need to remind ourselves, yes the victory that is ours in Christ but not without looking at the cross that He endured for each of us. With His enabling we will endeavour to do that in the coming blogs.  Prayer:  Jesus thank you for the cross my friend and my Lord. Amen

I believe the simple answer to the question above is yes. Scripture is clear that God ‘shows’ His love toward us in the death of Christ.  “…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. Romans 5:8   ESV “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to  take away our sins. ”   1 John 4:10   NLT It is clear from reading these two verses that God was showing His love towards the world when He sent His Son to suffer and die for it.  God is love and He wanted us to experience that love which is seen in the crucifixion of Christ. This was an act of love. It wasn’t some meaningless death or God the Father allowing the Son to suffer without any say. The whole of the Triune God was involved in what happened on that awful and yet great day. God (Father ,Son Holy Spirit) is love).  Jesus’ death unlike any other happened because, not only would we know God as love, but something would ‘happen’ to us. The Romans 5:8 verse tells us that we are sinners. The 1 John 4:10 verse tells us that in Christ’s death, His sacrifice on the cross, our sins would be taken away. The Gospel of John also declares… “The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away  the sin of the world” John 1:29 NKJV We have a powerful image (a foreshadowing of Christ’s work) in the OT of a goat having sins confessed over it and then being released into the wilderness to carry, take away the sin.  “But the goat chosen by lot as the scapegoat shall be presented alive before the LORD to make atonement by sending it into the wilderness as the scapegoat.” Leviticus 16:10 NIV “The goat will carry on itself all their iniquities  into a solitary place, and the man will release it into the wilderness.” Lev 16:22 Paul tells us that the wages of sin is death. Rom 6:23 . “If Christ takes away sin at the same time He also deals with death.”  Death is separation. When sin entered the world death came into the world. In other words when Adam sinned he became separated from God. Their union was broken. What we inherit from Adam is death/separation.  “ Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation   between you and your God , and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” Isaiah 59:1-2 ESV We are all separated from God and therefore need someone to bring us back (reconciliation) to God. That’s what Christ has done in His death.  One of the things we have lost in this generation especially, is what sin is and indeed the gravity of it. Sin isn’t just the bad things we do. Sin is a predicament we are in. We have all sinned, not just Adam. Rom 3:23 . ESV “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men  because all sinned. ” Rom 5:12. ESV Notice it says ‘because all sinned’. It doesn’t take long for a newborn child to begin to do what is wrong. The older the child becomes the more they will sin. It’s a part of being in a world that is broken. That’s not to say that we don’t have any inclination whatsoever to do anything right or good, because I believe we do. But we are also inclined to do what is wrong.  When we realise the enormity of what sin is and how it enslaves and separates, then and only then will we realise the enormity of what the crucifixion of Christ accomplished. “So catastrophic a remedy demands a catastrophic predicament” writes Stephen Westerholm. Sin is the predicament we are all in and the suffering and death of Jesus is the remedy.  The Christus victor model of atonement sees Christ’s work at calvary as redeeming us from the powers of sin, death and especially the devil.  However, it doesn’t take long to look at this world and indeed our own lives to realise that we are not immune from any of these because the presence of sin is still very much with us.  Ultimately when Christ returns even the presence of sin will be eradicated.  The majority of suffering in the world is caused by human sin. But also happenings such as natural disasters, accidents and trauma outside of us that aren’t a direct result of a human sinning. It’s important to note that creation was affected by the disobedience of Adam as creation is also groaning for its redemption. Romans 8:22 We are greedy, we are jealous, we are covetous, we are liars, we are haters we are unjust and so forth. Not me you say. But we all have the potential to be any of these and more. Wars, family feuds, rape, murder are all around us and therefore suffering is seen widely.  The amazing thing is that the iniquity of us all has been laid upon Him at the cross.  “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:6 NIV Newness of life is to be had in Christ. As in our own situation with our son’s accident, suffering, grief and trauma will be part of the journey but it does not annul what Christ has achieved in His death and the life we can have in him. Let us finish with the powerful statement for the Apostle Paul who says… “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  1 Cor 15:56-57 ESV  We can see from this short blog on the work of the cross the images that come through. Scapegoat. Reconciliation. Victory.  The love of God is seen in all of these. The cross shows us God’s love but it is also the place where God has done something amazing about the predicament of sin that we are all bent toward because of the fallen world that we live in.  Dare I say it but it’s possible to have victory even in the midst of suffering and I don’t say that lightly. Prayer: Dear Lord, Thank you that you loved us so much that you came to this world that you created to suffer an humiliating death on a roman cross in order to take away our sin so that we could be reconciled back to you. Even in our own suffering we can look to you as the One who suffered for us all. Amen.

The things we go through in life can often blur our vision of God. Instead of seeing God for who He really is, the trauma, the loss, the illness can hinder who the Bible declares God to be.  I know from our own experience that trauma and suffering can make God can seem very different to who He was before our son’s accident. If I’m not careful the lens of trauma can make God seem Uncaring, To blame, Distant, Unforgiving, Unresponsive, Unconcerned with little or no mercy.  I can really sympathise with unbelievers who have issue with ‘God’ because of the situation they find themselves in. There are enough barriers to belief in God without suffering in the mix. We find it difficult to find and know God because of the hardness of our hearts, because we are drawn to sin rather than a God who has put away our sin. When hard times hit, our hearts can become even harder to the things of God and this is all very understandable. I am far far more compassionate and understanding towards unbelievers who have suffered greatly and find belief in God absurd.  None of us will know the answers to the question of suffering on this side of eternity. However, we can with God’s help and those who love and care for us find a way through the suffering. This in turn will help us find a better more reasoned view of God and who He is.  The first thing to say is that God does not change.  (Micah 3:6; Heb 13:8) He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Whatever happen to us in this life, no matter how horrific and soul destroying it is, God didn’t all of a sudden change.  I have to constantly remind myself that God is… Merciful  “ The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 ESV Caring   “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7 NKJV Attentive  “ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry; “ Psalm 34:15 NIV Close  “ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”   Psalm 35:18 NIV As we begin another year, we need to know that God is for us, He is not against us. How do I know this? I know this because He has come to this earth in the person of His Son, Jesus. Instead of seeing the death of Jesus as the wrath of God poured out, let’s look again and know that it was because of His great love for each and everyone of us, that He came, lived, died, rose again and is waiting to return as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. These are the lens I need to wear. Yes, there are many many times when I live with the lens of suffering, but I and you are able to put on the lens that shows us who God is.  This does not mean that we’re not real about the things we go through. It doesn’t mean we ignore the facts. Do I hate the fact the the holocaust happened? Of course. Do I struggle hugely with the fact that our son’s life has changed dramatically due to a freak accident? You bet I do. Does my blood boil when I hear of young children being abused and even murdered? It goes without saying. It also doesn’t mean that we don’t ask the tough questions. We’re not very good at that at times. Let’s do it more. We may not get the answers we desire but it is part of the healing process. One of the questions that we could ask is ‘From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD,who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121v1b-2 ‘Why doesn’t God just step in and sort it all out’ we cry. God is one day going to put all the wrongs of this world, right. He is a God of justice and we will all experience that justice in one way or another. Reward or penalty. He knows and nothing goes unnoticed before the one who sees all and knows all. If He choose to execute justice now in this life, would any of us stand? in that sense God has limited Himself (self limitation), especially believed in some Jewish quarters. But the day will come.  Let’s be real and know that we aren’t going to see and experience God as we should in this life. Paul reminds us that we now only see in part but then face to face. 1 Cor 13:12 Suffering will blur our vision of God. However we can go back to His Word and be reminded of who He is and use a different lens.  Prayer:  Dear Lord,  You indeed are a God who knows all about suffering, especially seen in the suffering of Your Son. We thank You that You are indeed a God who is compassionate towards Your creation. When we hurt, You hurt. I pray that You would draw near to those who suffer and that You would surround them with family and friends who can show that love and care. We look forward to the day when we will see You and know You truly as You are. Amen  Resources:  I have found the following two books particularly helpful on this subject. I don’t necessarily agree with everything written, but as always glean from what is said there.  The Gospel according to Moses: What My Jewish Friends Taught Me about Jesus  by Athol Dickson When Bad Things Happen to Good People  by Harold Kushner

As with any year period in a human life there have been highs and lows, positives, negatives, huge achievements, steps forward and also losses.   Firstly we must give thanks to God for faithfully keeping us, for He has carried us this far. Any determination, strength and courage in us has come from Jesus enabling us to continue on each day, through struggles and yet successes, through victories and also failures.   Nathanael has made remarkable progress this year, he is an incredibly resilient, determined boy whose confidence and joy in life is nothing short of inspirational to those he meets. His laugh is contagious and he brings smiles to many faces everyday.   As we end 2024 we want to share some of the most important progress made and positive memories of this past year:   January  - Marked the start of big change in our lives as we moved out of our home of 11 years into a more suitable property for Nathanael’s mobility needs. We later came to understand that God used this property as a stepping stone until our now home was ready.    February  - We celebrated Nathanael’s 9th Birthday - always a special time celebrating his life and how God has saved him. March  - We enrolled Nathanael at Able2B gym beginning with 1:1 sessions, ReBound and Swimspa therapies and a weekly group circuit training session. Attending Able2B has been one of Nathanael’s greatest achievements this year. The Able2B team have worked consistently with Nathanael to improve his core strength, coordination and ability.    April  - Nathanael started with an online tutor to help assess and build his education skills ready for school   May  - We prepared and trained as a family for two amazing sponsored physical events. June  - Nathanael took part in Able2B gym’s annual DYA - Discover your Ability event. Nathanael partnered with able bodied children to cycle 2 laps of a circuit and then walk the last leg of the circuit with support from founders Rachael Hutchinson and Jon Thaxton to receive his medal from former NCFC player Robert Fleck - what an amazing day.   The following week Nathanael took part in East Anglian Air Ambulance’s TREK 24 event where he cycled 2.4 miles and walked over the finish line with family support raising over £700 for EAAA - what a fantastic opportunity and experience.   July  - Nathanael completed his online learning preparation and was miraculously given a place at The Clare School - the best complex needs school in the world. We attended transition days and got to know Nathanael’s wonderful new teacher and team. August  - Making the most of time together, family days out, swimming and activities at Able2B before September. We began to fundraiser for an all-terrain powered wheelchair so Nathanael could access beaches, forests, grassland, fields and parks.   September  - Nathanael made an unbelievably positive and fantastic start at The Clare school settling into the class and routines incredibly easily with staff commenting on how it seemed like Nathanael had been there for ages. We saw a marked improvement in his vocalisations with him saying “Mum” and has since built on this including some new words like “ham” ‘myrrh” and “more”. October  - Nathanael was voted on to Pupil Voice the school council working with a team to come up with ideas to improve the school and its surroundings. As a family we moved house to a beautiful chalet bungalow in the countryside where we instantly felt at home and where God has restored so much to us. The peace and gardens, the landscape and home has blessed us immensely and came to us just right as this was an incredibly difficult time with my Dad passing away.     November  - we are so grateful to our friends at Servants Church for all their prayer and financial support and giving. Many helped us raise money for Nathanael’s All terrain wheelchair by undertaking Sponsored events, organising an Auction Evening and special Bring and Buy coffee mornings.   Also this month Nathanael had the opportunity to go to 2 Norwich City Football matches - they won both games!   December  - busiest month ever! Nathanael was incredibly busy at school attending school trips, participating as King Herod in the lower school nativity, not to mention all the Christmas parties, lunches and other activities. At Able2B’s Christmas and year end party Nathanael was given their ‘best newcomer 2024’ award and given a certificate, medal and trophy - of which he is extremely proud.    Nathanael got his new Trekinetic all-terrain powered wheelchair and for the first time in 3 years! we went to the beach on Boxing Day and the chair performed amazingly across the sand!    To top off the year Nathanael received a letter and special Christmas card from His Majesty King Charles 3 sending his very best regards to Nathanael congratulating him on his progress in recovery and sending best wishes for his future.     You have to look back to see how far you have come, yes, there is darkness and deep suffering some days but as a very wise friend told us ‘it won’t always be this way’. Nathanael has made incredible steps forward this year. As he improves we improve. There is more to come, there is hope for our future and we trust God that He will continue to carry us in His everlasting arms in 2025 and beyond.   We are incredibly grateful to the teams at Able2B, East Anglian Air Ambulance, The Clare school and Servants church and to those of you who have prayed, given and for the unimaginable support and encouragement, and to Trekinetic for such an amazing freedom offering wheelchair. Please continue to pray for Nathanael to be able to talk fully and walk and run again. Thank you all and may you have a blessed 2025.

Two statements that I’ve come across recently are ‘suffer well’ and ‘a good steward of pain’.  The words ‘good’ and ‘well’ don’t normally sit right with the word ‘pain’. These statements are rather hard hitting when you are experiencing deep trauma and grief and living in a very dark place.  Let’s never under estimate the depth of someones pain. Many people will have scars for the rest of their lives by the things they have endured and maybe continue to endure.  It may take a very long time for someone to be able to suffer well. It may take a lot of counsel and help along the way for someone to be a good steward of pain.  Does God expect us to stand up straight away from being knocked down? What does God really expect and how does He want us to react to the traumatic things that many of us will face in this life? To steward is to manage and be responsible for what has been given to you. Pain can be a cruel master in that it can take over your whole life. From the time we wake to the time we sleep and all of the times in between, pain can be at the forefront.  People who have constant pain in their bodies can go to pain management clinics to help them deal with the constant pain. There are certain things put in place to help which have to be repeated daily.  To suffer well and be a good steward of suffering one has to somehow put things in place that helps the pain not be so over bearing and all consuming. With God’s help this is possible.  In my journey I have found that there are many times when I’m managing the pain but then there are those times when the pain becomes unbearable and difficult to deal with.  There are no easy pat answers, but it does however require effort to do those things that help us along the difficult road ahead. Pray, read God’s Word, fellowship with others, get involved in groups both in church and outside. These all take effort but they will all help in the goal of suffering well.  There are many scriptures that mention suffering. 1 Peter 3:14; 1 Peter 5:10; 2 Cor 4:17; Col 1:24; James 1:12.  We do need to understand that there are many types of suffering. More often than not the type of suffering that scripture refers to is for the cause of Christ. However, we also need to remember that God is with us in whatever suffering and it is that that enables us to suffer well and to steward pain in a way that brings glory to Him. I can’t suffer well in my own strength. I can’t steward pain in a good way without Him. It is He who is working in us.  Part of processing pain and walking this journey of hardship is all part of working out our salvation. Salvation is a process and as God works in us we can, by His grace work out what He puts in.   “ Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Phil 2:12-13 I do have to yield to Him and the Spirits working in me. This is often the difficult bit. The reason that I don’t always suffer well is because I become inward focused and that often happens when one is tired and done in and seeing no way forward.  The scripture encourages us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the one who has endured and overcome. When these things are in place and working well we can all suffer well and steward pain in a way that is honouring to Him and those around us. This isn’t being stoic this is being real both with myself and with God.  Prayer : Father, You know when I’m struggling and not doing well with pain. Help me and those who are suffering to lean more on You and know Your power working through us. We want to live a life that is honouring and pleasing to You. Amen.

We’ve looked at a couple of Bible characters who both wrestled and submitted to God in their own situations.  This time I would like us to look at some scriptures that can often be uncomfortable, challenging and at times, confusing. It is these scriptures that should make us wrestle, question and want to dig around a bit.  Here are a few…with a comment from me.  English Standard Version “ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them”.   Psalm 34:7   If God encamps around His people (those who fear Him) why do bad things occur in their life? Why did our son encounter the most horrific accident. Was it because I wasn’t fearing the Lord enough? Just because God encamps around us, doesn’t necessarily mean we are free from the evils and freak happenings of life. Job feared the Lord and yet God allowed Satan to buffet him.  New International Version “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple” . Luke 14:26 There are other verses that command us to love, and even our enemies and yet we are told here that we should hate father and mother.  When digging a little deeper we find that the word ‘hate’ doesn’t carry the same meaning that many of us think it does. Hate in this context is ‘love less’. At first glance you can see why many would wrestle with such a saying from the lips of Jesus.  New King James Version "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life”.   John 12:25  The last thing you want to read when suffering bitterly is to hate your own life. Those of us who suffer may already do that at times. The following scripture exhorts us to love our neighbour as we indeed love ourselves.  Good News Translation “ The second most important commandment is this: 'Love your neighbor as you love yourself….”   Mark 12:31   Again, context is everything. Eternal life is to be had when we fully have Jesus in our lives. There are so many things that can get in the way of that. Even my own suffering in this life can be an obstacle to knowing Jesus, both in this life, and the world to come. There are many things that we need to let go of, to love less those things that are an obstacle. We should never stop looking out for and caring for those around us.  New Living Translation “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”.   Romans 8:28   Everything is everything. Some versions say ‘all’. That must mean someone dying of terminal cancer. An encounter with a rapist. In our case, our son’s accident. What does ‘good’ look like? Our idea of good and God’s idea can be very different.  We are still yet to find what ‘good’ really looks like in the situation that we find ourselves in with our son.  English Standard Version “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!”   Psalm 27:13   God’s goodness is a promise for every follower. We may not necessarily see that in all its fullness in this land. It may be the land that is yet to come, when we see Him face to face.  I hope you get a sense of what it means to struggle and wrestle with God and His Word. It really can be a two edged sword. It cuts both ways. It can be bitter and it can also be sweet. It is however His Word and it can bring comfort and it can also bring the opposite.  Wrestle we must and it is something I believe that the Lord desires of His people to help them draw near to Him, and grow in faith.  Prayer: Help us be a people that really get grips with your Word. There are many things that don’t make sense and yet we are called to seek You in order to somehow understand what’s going on in our lives and the world around us. Help us to that end. Amen

Christmas comes but once a year Suffering however is often rare There are many of us who have been dealt a blow Christmas reminds us that God came low Another year is nearly past Yet there are those who ask ‘how long will this last’?  Looking back we wonder how we endured With the coming of Christ our salvation has been secured With so much suffering and continued war The death toll and pain continues to soar ‘Peace on earth’ for many is just a false hope Christ however does help us to cope He is indeed the reason for the season Even if in the midst of pain we try and reason I’ve often thought life isn’t fair Especially when the pain, I just cannot bear  ‘Joy to the world’ many will sing Jesus is indeed Lord and He is King May He capture our hearts once more  As we remember what He really came for Life is truly a gift no matter what our state Suffering one day will go as a new world He will create In the meantime pain and suffering exist It’s His love, joy and peace that we mustn’t resist  Alan Howes

In April 2022 our lives changed forever… But God ... Our son was tragically run over suffering catastrophic life changing injuries… But God... As his Dad, who was driving the car, my life will never be the same… But God... Like Joseph who was sold into slavery I needed reminding… “But God  was with him”   Acts 7:9 We would have lost all hope and given up… But God... The months in hospital were horrific… But God... Months in Rehab were very tough… But God... Arriving home 6 months later fearful and apprehensive… But God... How could we face the accident site on our own driveway… “But God  is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”   Psalm 73:26 Facing each day in this new normal is heartbreaking… But God... As the days and months pass we still feel pain…  But God... Even when we can't feel His presence near  But God... Life is not how we wanted or planned it to be… But God... Miraculously there is continual progress with Nathanael, though deep challenges remain… But God... The past two Christmases were sad and difficult… But God... This year feels a little more positive and different… THANK GOD As another Christmas comes around, let's be reminded of exactly what it's all about.... “But God,  being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”    Ephesians 2:4-10 As we enter 2025 we don’t know what it holds nor do any of us BUT GOD… Prayer ,  Dear Lord,  As we look back on yet another year we stand amazed at how You have upheld us even in the dark times. How You have kept us going and cheering us on. As another Christmas is upon us, may we take time to remember that You came into our darkness and took on our sin to give us life. From Babe, to Cross, to Glory, we thank You! Amen

It has been said that God gave us two ears and one mouth because He wants us to listen twice as much as we talk.  In my experience of life I can honestly say I haven’t yet come across many people who listen and listen well. Most of us tend to listen so that we can give an answer rather than listen in order to understand.  When someone is grieving having experienced a tragic event in their lives, we must learn to try and listen rather than try to give all the right answers.  James encourages us “ Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear , slow to speak, slow to anger;”…   James 1:19 ESV   Scripture reminds us that when words are plentiful, sin and folly are never far away. e.g Prov 10:19 People who are suffering more often than not just need a listening ear. I was grateful last year to receive some counselling and again more recently. The first time I resisted for a long time but in the end I came to the realisation that I needed to talk to someone outside of my own family and friends.  Counsellors are there to listen so we can let off steam without being judged, without receiving a multitude of words that would somehow fix it all.  The listening ear was what I needed. We’re not all counsellors but we do all have two ears and one mouth.  Job’s friends started off well…  “ Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him,  for they saw that his suffering was very great.” Job 2:11-13  They can be applauded because… 1 They came to him - made appointment  2 They empathised - sympathy and comfort  3 They spent time - Seven days and nights  However, it didn’t last long and in the proceeding chapter they each give lengthy speeches to the point where Job comes to the end of himself and exclaims   “I have heard many such things;miserable comforters are you all.”  Job 16:2  Do you have someone in your life who just wants to be with you?  Do you take time yourself to listen to others rather than trying to ‘fix’ them? Let’s all take the time to listen more, especially with those who have suffered greatly.  Prayer: Lord, thank you that you are quick to listen to us. You are ever ready to hear our complaints and hear our hearts. Help us to be the same with others. Help us to give people room. Help me to be more appreciative of those who have sat and listened to me. Amen

Our hearts will often get in the way of our relationship with God.  When the Bible talks about the heart it does not mean the organ pumping inside our bodies to keep us alive. It is rather our inner self. Our mind, our desires, our passions. Someone has summed it up like this “The heart is the helm of the ship. It takes a bearing and then sets the course of your life. As goes the heart, so goes the person” So often scripture reminds us about the state of our hearts.   “ Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”   Proverbs 4v23 NIV “For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.”  Matthew 12v34 NLT “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” Matthew 15v19 NKJV When One goes through intense suffering the heart is affected without a doubt.  Since we began our own personal journey of suffering, I can see how it has impacted our hearts, our very lives. How we think. How we act. How we speak. The consequence of this is that it also impacts our relationship with God.  As Bonhoeffer talks about the poverty of our hearts, so then those who have suffered trauma to any degree, our hearts will become impoverished.  This effects our prayer life and our prayers become weak and focused on my needs and wants and we can at times forget who God is and what He has said in His Word.  Now this is quite natural and we shouldn’t feel condemned because of that.  But as Bonhoeffer reminds us that the richness of God’s Word hasn’t changed with our impoverished hearts. On the contrary, it’s this that we need to come back to. Our prayer lives need to be focused on what He has said in His Word not what our hearts are dictating to us.  It has taken me 28 months to write something like this and still I struggle with prayer and focusing my thoughts on Him and His Word.  However, it is so important for us to allow God’s Word to steer the ship of our lives and not our hearts, which can be deceitful at times especially in times of suffering.  As we do this, I believe our hearts will become more and more in line with Him and His will and purpose for our lives. These things take time and can take several years for many people.  As I read and hear others who have suffered greatly their prayers and their stories and their ministry have an integrity, a solidness, a passion that only comes out of many years of struggle, pain, honesty, humility amongst other things.  When Jesus had suffered much even to death on the cross, He felt forsaken, He felt alone as He bore the sin of the world. His heart must have been torn to shreds as indeed His body was. Yet even through all of that He came back to scripture. ‘My God My God why have you forsaken Me’ was Him using scripture when He had nothing else, when His heart was impoverished. Psalm 22v1.  The point is, He never gave in. He held onto His Father because He knew the end of Psalm 22 . Look at v.24 “ For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.” I know I need to come back to the richness of God’s Word. This is a daily task and not every day is the same when struggling with PTSD and circumstances that control the way we feel. It takes discipline and it takes a desire to want things to be different, even if it feels like I just want to give up.  We know that we have a great high priest who is able to not only sympathise with us but also pray for us as He did Peter.  Luke 22v31-32  “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you,d that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”  We know that Peter denies Jesus three times, but Jesus restores Him. There may be times when we have denied Jesus in suffering, when we feel like we have failed Him. But I know that He is praying and interceding for me, for us, so that like Peter our faith may not fail.  Maybe Peter had forgotten the richness of God’s word, just like we all do at times. But we have the promise that He is for us and never leaves us and is praying for us. And with all of that we have His Word in all it’s richness that we can hold onto even if we pray, “God where are You, why have You hidden Your face” . Psalm 10:1 ;. This is scripture we are praying not necessarily our impoverished hearts. Even scriptures like this have a richness that we often overlook especially when read in context.  Dear Lord, Thank you for Your Word which speaks truth, honesty, and life. Help us to take You at Your Word and to never let go even when things are seemingly dire. Thank You for the example of Jesus. Amen